What is the most embarrassing thing a roommate has walked in and caught you doing?
室友走进房间发现你正在做的最尴尬的事情是什么?
This actually happend to me earlier this week:
这周早些时候我就遇到了这样的事情:
My roommate was planning on going on a date, she is a lesbian and found a girl online. She said she would not be home for atleast 5 hours. I decided to clean up the place a bit in case it went well on the date and she wanted to bring her date home.
我的室友计划约会,她是女同性恋,在网上找了一个女孩。她说她至少要5个小时才能回家。我决定稍微清理一下这个地方,以防约会顺利进行,而她想带她的约会对象回家。
I picked up all our laundry laying around the room and then put the clothes I was wearing in the basket as well. It still is super hot where I live and this helped me cooldown. I put the laundry in the machine but forgot to turn on the machine.
我把房间里所有要洗的衣服都拿了起来,然后把我穿的衣服也放在了篮子里。我住的地方仍然非常热,不穿衣服让我冷快不少。我把要洗的衣服放进洗衣机,但忘了打开洗衣机。
I then went do some other chores around the house until it looked clean enough. I went to check on the laundry and noticed I did not turn the machine on, so I went to turn it on and now had to wait until it was finished. I sat down to watch some TV and put a pizza in the microwave. While eating the pizza I found a great show to watch and totally lost track of time.
然后我去做一些其他的家务,直到屋子看起来足够干净。我去检查洗衣机,发现我没有打开洗衣机,所以我去打开它,现在不得不等到它完成工作。我坐下来看电视,把一个披萨放进微波炉。吃披萨的时候,我发现了一个很好的节目,完全忘记了时间。
After a couple of hours of TV I went to clean up the kitchen. While I was cleaning up the kitchen the front door opend and my roommate walked back. I then remembered I was not wearing any clothes but luckily the kitchen table was blocking my lower area, so I played it off as if I just took of my shirt to beat the heat.
看了几个小时的电视后,我去打扫厨房。当我正在打扫厨房时,前门开了,我的室友走了回来。然后我记起我没有穿任何衣服,但幸运的是厨房的桌子挡住了我的下半身,所以我装成嫌热脱掉了衬衫一样。
My roommate explained how her date was a total faillure and then sat down in one of out chairs, with her back to me I realised I could just play it as if I was not naked until she went to bed, she had to work the next day so I knew she would go to bed before me. I just had to find out a way to stay behind her, however staying in the kitchen for another hour would be really suspious.
我的室友解释说她的约会对象糟透了,然后坐在一个椅子上,背对着我,我意识到我得一直这样扮演得好像我不是裸着的,直到她上床睡觉,第二天她要工作所以我知道她会在我之前上床睡觉。我必须想办法留在她后面,然而,在厨房里再呆一个小时真的很糟糕。
I needed to come up with a plan and I needed one quickly. So while she was sitting in the chair I walked up behind her and started giving her a shoulder massage and asked her if she wanted to share more info on the date. Lucky enough for me so just put her feet up on the table, looked up the ceilling and started telling me about her awful date.
我需要想出一个计划,而且我需要一个迅速的计划。所以当她坐在椅子上时,我走到她身后,开始给她按摩肩膀,问她是否想分享更多关于约会的信息。幸运的是,她把脚放在桌子上,抬起头,开始告诉我她糟糕的约会。
I kept the massage going for an entire hour without her looking behind her once, she eventually stood up and walked to her room and thanking me for the massage. Meanwhile I used the stool as a cover for my lower half. However just before closing her bedroom door she said: “You do know our ceilling lamp is reflective right? “ In shock I looked up and noticed that from the lamp she managed to look at my naked body the entire time. She giggled as she closed the door and wished me a good night.我给她做了整整一个小时的按摩,她没有回头看一次,最后她站起来,走回她的房间,感谢我给她做的按摩。同时,我用凳子作为我下半身的掩护。然而,就在她关上卧室的门之前,她说:“你知道我们的吊灯是反光的,对吧?”我震惊地抬起头来,发现她一直在灯下盯着我的裸体。她咯咯地笑着关上门,祝我晚安。